He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
