After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
