I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize