I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
