I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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