please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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