Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
