I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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