I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
