sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize