All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Even my vagina gasped.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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