So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
