Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
