Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
