ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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