K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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