Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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