im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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