I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So vagazzling was a success
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
