I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
