It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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