the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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