Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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