Whod you bang
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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