What did we do last night that was yellow?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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