Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
