I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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