His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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