i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.