I got chris browned last night
I have demons in me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
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She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.