hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?