based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They took my balls.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
