So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
