So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
