Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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