I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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