Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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