seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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