Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
