Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize