Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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