Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
