I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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