I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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