ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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