Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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