she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
