We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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