I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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