Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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