i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
