I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there was a trapeze. enough said
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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