I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
