can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
