i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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