I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
