First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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