he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
