I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
