So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
