My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
