I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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