Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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