Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
