I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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