i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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