i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
