she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
