Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
