Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
