If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
