So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize